Conference 1: Helping People Forgive
Presentation Information
(For
more information, please contact the researcher that conducted the study)
How to facilitate
forgiveness among divorced individuals
Mark
Rye, Ph.D., Assistant Professor: Department of Psychology
Divorced individuals often believe they were wronged by their ex-spouse. Consequently, many divorced individuals maintain feelings of anger and hostility toward their ex-spouse long after the divorce has been finalized (Wallerstein, 1986). Maintaining these feelings may have a negative effect on physical health and psychological adjustment (Bursik, 1991). In addition, conflict between divorced parents may have negative effects on children (Amato & Keith, 1991). One way to cope with divorce is through forgiveness. Research has found that forgiveness of an ex-spouse relates to better mental health (Ashleman, 1997; Bursik, 1991; Reed, 1998, as cited in Enright, 2001), better family relationships (Ashleman, 1997), and a more integrative approach to coping (Mazor, Batiste-Harel, & Gampel, 1998).
This presentation described the development, implementation,
and evaluation of two versions of an eight-session forgiveness group intervention
for divorced individuals. In the religiously integrated version, group leaders
encouraged participants to draw upon their religious/spiritual beliefs while
working on forgiveness. In the secular version, group leaders did not introduce
religious/spiritual concepts. Otherwise, the content of the two programs was
similar. Using the framework provided in the interventions, strategies will be
discussed for the following: 1) facilitating discussion of the wrongdoing that
divorced individuals have experienced, 2) teaching cognitive-behavioral
strategies for coping with feelings of anger, 3) educating about the definition
and process of forgiveness, 4) teaching
clients how to support themselves and others through the forgiveness process,
5) using ritual to facilitate forgiveness, 6) integrating religion/spirituality
into forgiveness interventions, and 7) preventing relapse prevention. This presentation also described the findings
of an outcome evaluation of both versions of the forgiveness intervention. Some
of the unique challenges faced by divorced individuals in the process of
forgiveness were explored.
Stanford Forgiveness Projects: Teaching forgiveness
Frederic Luskin,
Ph.D.
The Stanford Forgiveness Projects utilizes a forgiveness methodology based on the practices of Behavioral Medicine. Guided imagery, stress management, mindfulness, cognitive disputation, changing the narrative are all used to foster forgiveness. His presentation presented an overview of the methodology based on the following nine steps:
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a couple of trusted people about your experience.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else. No one else even has to know about your decision.
3. Understand your goal. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that upset you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years –ago.
5. At the moment you feel upset practice the Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique (P.E.R.T.) to soothe your body’s flight or fight response.
6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the “unenforceable rules” you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, friendship and prosperity and work hard to get them. However, you will suffer when you demand these things occur when you do not have the power to make them happen.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. I call this step finding your positive intention. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.
9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
Faces of forgiveness: Intersubjectivity
and the process of change
Steve Sandage,
Ph.D., Associate Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy
Intersubjectivity and the motif of the “face” are employed to facilitate interdisciplinary (psychology, theology, spirituality) integration and clinical and community application. The motif of the face is engaged with respect to research on the facial expression of emotion, as well as spiritual and theological understandings. Cultural considerations help contextualize forgiveness.
Forgiveness is shaped & nurtured over a lifetime
William Carroll, Ph.D.
Masters and disasters of forgiveness can be predicted by: post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and subconscious habits; awareness, reflection and dialogue on cultural influences; models imitated and appropriated; relational existence vs. autonomous existence; positive vs. negative communication patterns; and neural connections and pathways developed by daily communication.
Awareness of economic, political and media influences which: increase fear linked to basic needs; increase emotional hijacking by blocking the neocortex thinking and judging pathway which drives fight, flight or freeze reflexes; link refractory periods; dulls awareness by speed, rapid change, repetition, noise, jarring juxtaposition, and pornography; and conflates reality with illusion.
How we think, feel and act are grounded in values from models. Appropriated models influence acceptance or non-acceptance of forgiving and being forgiven. Relationship foundation is either complementary and interdependent or self-centered and self-sufficient individualism. Self-centered individualism undermines forgiving relationships.
Negative or positive communications shape and nurture intrapersonal and interpersonal communication. Negative communication: beginning - turning away or against bids; during - criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, and flooding; turning away to attack/define and turning against to emotionally disengage. Positive communication: soft startup, accept influence, turning toward, positive bids given and received 90% plus, de-escalate, soothe, and rebound positively. Positive communication communicates appreciation (respect, affection, favor, praise), an attitude of gratitude.
Progress toward forgiveness requires appropriate model, discipline, practice, and incorporating antidotes by neural connections and pathways: loving kindness, wishing well and happiness for other, opposed to anger and hatred; compassion, wanting and delighting in other's freedom from pain and suffering, opposed to cruelty; rejoicing, happy for the well-being of others, opposed to jealousy; and equanimity, enabling a peace zone, opposed to attachment and aversion. Some issues can never be solved; accept and respect with a dash of humor.
Using transpersonal theory to understand forgiveness
in psychotherapy
Janet Lewis, M.D.
Forgiveness involves a sense of felt unity with a person who has hurt one. But from the standpoint of development, a sense of unity can be regressive or progressive, unhealthy or healthy. A transpersonal theory of development, as described in the writings of Ken Wilber and others, is presented as a framework for understanding the psychological health or pathology of different forms of “forgiveness.”
Within transpersonal theory, psychological-spiritual development is considered to have three basic stages- the prepersonal, the personal, and the transpersonal. The prepersonal is the stage before the development of a well-functioning ego, where merger is experienced and boundary-distorting defenses such as idealization, splitting and projection, are employed.
The personal stage is characterized by a fairly well-functioning ego and the conflict of social conformity vs. authenticity predominates.
In the transpersonal stage, the ego is transcended and is included within a larger context. This occurs through the individual’s identification with something larger than the self.
In this presentation, a case study is used to illustrate the dangers of “forgiveness” undertaken with prepersonal or personal stage motivations. The effects of trauma on this process were discussed, as trauma reintroduces prepersonal functioning, necessitating the achievement of a personal stage before being able to stably occupy a transpersonal position. In this healing process, development itself is recapitulated and can be furthered. The central paradox in getting to forgiveness is defined as the need for the patient to recognize the offending other as a separate person first, before there can be any healthy sense of unity.
Lastly, three possible ways (among many), that individual insight – oriented psychotherapy can help a patient to transcend the self and identify with a larger context, thereby making healthy forgiveness possible, were presented. The distinction between transpersonal experience and stable transpersonal functioning was described.
Faith obstacles to forgiveness: Constructions of G-d,
human nature and the death penalty
Harry Coverston,
Ph.D., Visiting Instructor, Department of Philosophy
The use of the death penalty in American jurisprudence is the ultimate test of Americans' willingness to forgive. Debate over the death penalty inevitably features use of religious ideation. Both sides frequently cite passages from Hebrew and Christian scriptures and church teachings as their authorities.
Studies have shown that worldviews manifest in attitudes about forgiveness and punishment are often strongly informed by religious elements. Primary among these elements are human understandings of the deity and corresponding notions of human nature. Understandings of G-d, in which judgment and punishment feature prominently, often accompany constructions of human nature seen in terms of depravity and deservedness of punishment. Correspondingly, understandings of G-d focusing on relationship and human/divine connectedness are more likely to feature forgiveness.
This paper presented sociologist Andrew Greeley's analysis
of
The second aspect of this paper is the role of atonement theology in understanding the urge to punish versus the willingness to forgive, particularly the Anselmian construct of substitutionary atonement requiring blood sacrifice. It considered how theological understandings inform understandings of punishment and forgiveness and how such understandings may prove obstacles to the ability of many to forgive.
Adapting the five steps to forgiveness for Christian groups
The Pyramid Model to REACH Forgiveness is a psychoeducational intervention to help individuals forgive using five steps to forgiveness. Research supports its effectiveness. I describe a 9-hour intervention, Forgiveness and Reconciliation through Experiencing Empathy (FREE), which I use to teach dyads how to forgive and restore trust. I pay particular attention to adapting the intervention for use with Christians.
Roadblocks to forgiveness
Connie Holliman, Ph.D.
Choice theorists believe that all behavior is purposeful to meet the five basic needs of love, attention or power, fun, freedom and survival. The individual makes choices to meet these needs. Forgiveness is one choice. Many individuals say they have forgiven or want to forgive someone, but they lack an understanding of some basic beliefs that act as roadblocks to this process. We are taught by example the basic beliefs concerning dealing with the grief. These are: “don’t feel bad, replace the loss, grieve alone, time heals all, be strong and keep busy.” John James and Russell Friedman, authors of The Grief Recovery Handbook, define grief as “the conflicting feelings caused by a change or an end in a familiar pattern of behavior (1998, p. 3).” What an individual is taught to do with these feelings often prevents forgiveness. Recovery is completed “by a series of small and correct action choices made by the griever (p. 8).” Using these beliefs, individuals cannot identify the true feelings with those relationships. James and Friedman propose a review of the relationship. The individual recognizes and verbalizes the feelings to a lay counselor. The individual is then guided by use of Reality Therapy to accept responsibility for any hurts he or she might have brought to the relationship and make amends. The actions of the other individual are evaluated and he is forgiven for those actions. This “action” involves releasing any resentment toward the individual. Significant emotional statements are made. The process is facilitated by the writing of a “goodbye letter” that is read aloud to the lay counselor. Forgiveness is the action of releasing the pain caused by the other individual. Forgiveness is a deliberate and careful path around roadblocks with assistance from a skilled helper to clarify issues.
Coaptive Therapy: Binding couples together through forgiveness
and healing
Coaptive Therapy, our couples counseling approach, focuses on joining two wounded individuals as support for each other through the process of forgiveness and healing. The word “coapt” means to bind together two sides of a wound for healing, as in suturing. The approach is supported by the extensive research on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) by Susan M. Johnson (1989-2003), who found significant benefits from using couples therapy as part of treatment for abuse survivors. Coaptive Therapy expands on this concept in two important ways: first, that the intimate relationship of marriage can be a vehicle for facilitating forgiveness and healing of wounds for both partners, and for the marriage; second, that no forgiveness and healing will take place in either individual without the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in the healing process.
We make the assumption that the lies believed in the hearts of two individuals in a marriage result in repetitive themes being played out in the relationship each time an emotional response is triggered. Each individual’s wounds, brought with them into their marital partnership, generate painful responses and behaviors in the present relationship. The individual lies are acted out in the relationship, particularly in times of conflict or emotional distress. The interactions of these lies create the systemic dynamics, through which the individuals interact. So in addition to their individual pain, the partners also experience the systemic pain generated by the interactions of the lies they each believe.
Coaptive Therapy begins the healing process with the couple understanding the lies of their partner as well as their own lies in order to understand how the systemic conflicts were created, thus facilitating forgiveness in the relationship and of past wounds. Once forgiveness is achieved, couples are taught how to intercede for their partner in prayer, to act as prayer partners on an ongoing basis, and to participate in each other’s healing process. Thus, the partners are bonded closer together and become each other’s trusted support system, with and through Jesus Christ.
Radical forgiveness
David Vernine,
Ph.D.
Unforgiveness is clearly a form of unhappiness. William Glasser in his latest book says: “It is virtually impossible to be unhappy for more than 5 or 6 weeks and remain symptom free.” He says, about these people, “The problem is that most of the time neither they nor their doctors are willing to consider the possibility that these created symptoms are the result of unhappiness.” “A more accurate title for the DSM-IV would be The Big Red Book of Unhappiness.” I would add that ANY suffering for more than 1 second is unnecessary suffering.
The most immediate, simplistic path to Happiness (Joy) that I have found is The BeHappyNOW game that I have played and taught for over 10 years. There is no book; just a bookmark with 4 statements. Participants in our support group quickly learn to pay attention to their thoughts & help each other check-in with their feelings associated with thought. The game encourages us to ‘play’ with all thoughts that we do not enjoy, as they are the ONLY barriers between us and our Happiness.
For example, I have coached symptom-rich rape survivors who experienced a traumatic 20 minute event thirty, or so, years ago. Through playing the game they see how for 30 years they have perpetrated against themselves- far, far longer and much more personally than the so-called perpetrator. From here we go on to think what we most enjoy. This huge forgiveness begins the healing, leading us towards peace and wholeness and away from non-enjoyable judgment, about others and ourselves.
Helping clients incorporate forgiveness
Suzanne Freedman, Ph.D., Department of
Educational Psychology and Foundations
The work of Robert Enright and his students was reviewed. Specific attention was given to the 20 unit process model of forgiveness developed by Enright et al. (1991) and used as the focus of most of their intervention research. Empirical interventions conducted by Enright and his students were highlighted, along with results that illustrate how forgiveness interventions are not only effective in increasing forgiveness amongst participants, but also effective in improving mental health. Specifically, counselors and clinicians were made aware of the potential benefits that forgiveness can have for clients dealing with anger issues, such as incest, divorce, alcoholism, and family of origin problems.
Emotion-focused therapy for working with emotional
injuries in individuals and couples
Les Greenberg, Ph.D., Professor, Department
of Psychology
Emotion-focused methods of working with "unfinished business" enable therapists in individual therapy to effectively access and restructure highly emotional memories and promote forgiveness and/or letting go of anger and hurt. The empathic yet directive techniques involve the confrontation of imagined others using dialogue and role play. In couples therapy EFT works to rebuild trust by restructuring the emotional bond. Betrayal and violations of trust are healed by promoting the revelation and acceptance of the attachment oriented emotions underlying the violation of trust. These techniques are manual-based and empirically-tested. In this presentation the process of resolving emotional injury by letting go and/or forgiving was discussed.
Does religiosity predict forgiving: Religiosity, big
five personality factors and trait vs. state forgiving
Jennifer Ripley, Ph.D., Associate
Professor, Department of Psychology
The very nature of religion, which can inspire both violence and acts of courageous altruism, requires ever-increasing depth and specificity of study. Pargament (1997) has suggested that one of the reasons why studies involving religiosity are often puzzling is the lack of understanding of dimensions of religiosity. While many non-religious people are undoubtedly dedicated to the concept of forgiveness due to personal experience, ability to empathize, a desire to be altruistic, childhood modeling, or other previously studied predictors—there are case examples of forgiving inspired by religion. How much does religiosity matter in forgiving?
Three multi-site studies containing 2,554 participants investigated three hypotheses: Does religiosity contribute to trait and state-forgiving? If so, does it contribute beyond relevant big-five factor traits agreeableness and neuroticism? And is there an aspect of religiosity that is a better predictor of forgiving than other aspects?
Results indicated that religiosity has predictive value in both trait forgiving and situation-specific forgiving. Participants’ religious identity was significantly different on trait forgiving measures, with religious identities that most typically emphasize forgiving as significantly more forgiving than religions that typically emphasize forgiving less often.
The studies shed light on the importance of understanding the nuanced meaning of religiosity with different groups of people. In all three studies, religiosity was uniquely predicting trait forgiving beyond neuroticism and agreeableness. This research showed more predictive value of religiosity than previous studies of the topic. The results consistently applied to a situation specific forgiving, with religiosity predicting 8-10% of the variance in situation-specific forgiving. The current studies indicated moderate amounts of predictive value for religious group identity, level of religious activity, religious commitment, and subjective spiritual intensity. For the more religiously committed subjective intensity was a stronger predictor of forgiving. For all others religious behavior was the strongest predictor of forgiving.
Exploring the depths of forgiveness
David Busch, Ph.D.
In this workshop Dr. Busch, with twenty-seven years of clinical experience, shared his own very personal and deep journey in forgiveness. He illustrated the role of empathy and understanding in forgiveness. Dr. Busch questioned the assumption that forgiveness can be willfully extended to another. According to his experience, forgiveness emerges from within over time. The workshop incorporated some Native American traditions and time for processing and reflection.
Forgiving in mediation: What role?
Dana & Wescoat
Sandlin LL.M.
Mediators, as facilitators of promises, may orchestrate a “dance” of forgiving which empowers and heals individuals in conflict by enabling new relationships to emerge from disputes. A rationale, working definition of forgiving, and ways to introduce forgiving in mediation was considered.
An effective
tool to make forgiveness last
Jim Dincalci, M.A.
An essential reason that forgiven situations often need ongoing
forgiveness work is that defense mechanisms (denial, repression, displacement
and, especially, projection) are at play, preventing deeper understanding and
resolution. Our forgiveness workshops and group and individual counseling
sessions, held over seven years, indicate that defenses, while mentioned by
other researchers, are not given the importance they deserve.
Forgiveness goes against the primitive defense of the mind and the very
grain of our culture. Projection of 'sins' onto another is natural, because it
frees one from having to confront and deal with them. It allows obsessively
judging the splinter in the eye of the other, while ignoring the beam in our
own. A person projects and displaces to hide some quality or action that he
deems unforgivable. The low success rates achieved by psychotherapies of
various types in effecting lasting change are due in no small measure to the
mass of repressed and un-forgiven deeds.
We have often found in our work that the un-forgiven situation, or person
presented, uncovers metaphorically what the client has projected and then
denied. Thus, forgiving the perpetrator does not get at the root of the upset
but, self-forgiveness can, for it dissolves the guilt and the need for
projecting which holds the situation in place.
The following steps offer an effective way of dealing with a difficult
un-forgiven situation:
1. Finding the earlier displaced perpetrator.
2. Finding the personal metaphor of the
projection in the situation.
3. Forgiving the target of the projection.
4. Getting the client to accept
self-forgiveness for the presented action/quality.
In conclusion, un-forgiven situations are often released when nothing
else has worked, by addressing, especially, the defense mechanism of
projection. Then, when self-forgiveness is utilized as part of this process,
permanent relief becomes possible
Preliminary experimental findings of forgiveness therapy
Fred DiBlasio,
Ph.D., Associate Professor,
Volunteer marital couples were randomly assigned to three groups: a forgiveness treatment group, an alternative treatment group, and a no treatment control group. A fourth group of highly committed Christian couples receiving forgiveness treatment was used to compare to the other three groups to study the impact of Christian faith on forgiveness. The effect of forgiveness treatment on level of forgiveness achieved, marital satisfaction, depression, self-esteem, Christian faith and health was discussed.
Reconciliation is the opposite of war: A model for
forgiveness and reconciliation
Mary Ciafalo,
M.A.
I present a workshop held last
year in
This event was a multi-cultural presentation, assisted by a Chinese Buddhist Monk who opened with the reminder that all actions by any individual affect the interconnected community. South African Truth and Reconciliation board member Glenda Wildshut, appointed by Nelson Mandela and Reverend Desmond Tutu, comments. She presents the concept of Ubuntu: “I am a person because of you.” She compares her experiences in forgiveness, both personally and gleaned from listening to 26,000 presentations at the TRC commission, with those of the improbable pairs. The audience participates in small groups and reports back to the larger group. The event closes with a blessing by Imam Rashid Patch.
Righting historical wrongs: The odds of social forgiveness
Alain Durocher,
Ph.D.
Currently, talk of apology, forgiveness, and reconciliation is everywhere. There appears to be a global interest in rectifying the injustices of the past. More and more social, political, ethnic, and religious groups have publicly expressed their sorrows and regrets as they apologize and/or ask for forgiveness for acts such groups or institutions have committed in the past, sometimes far back in the past.
Institutional public apologies and acts of forgiveness raise several important sociological and ethical questions. Do we look at past wrongs with modern standards? How can present-day communities rightfully forgive the sins of the past, and how can present institutions meaningfully express regret and apologize for the errors of their predecessors? How far back in time is too far back to uncover and atone for a past event? After all, can’t forgetting about past traumas actually be a useful or practical option as well? For instance, the French sociologist Ernest Renan suggests that a nation is more than a group of people who have a lot in common, they are also a group which has agreed to quietly forget many things.
This paper focuses on the sociological nature and dynamics of public acts of forgiveness. More specifically I will address two issues brought up by the collective aspects of social forgiveness. First, I will use the sociological method to analyze the notion of collective responsibility, collective wrongdoing, and collective guilt. I will highlight the significant differences between an individual model and a collective model of forgiveness. Second, I will examine the notion of collective reparations. In doing so, I will also show the ethical ramifications of a sociological analysis of “collective forgiveness.” I will refer to my own field research about the apologies/forgiveness practices of the Canadian government and four different Christian denominations involved in the residential school system for Native children.
Forgiveness and repentance, keys to nation-building
Michael Henderson
michaeldhenderson@compuserve.com
Forgiveness and repentance are recognized as essential if families and communities are to live in peace. In political life, however, such matters have often been written off as personal or religious and relegated to self-help shelves or religious houses.
Their importance for world affairs
has been focused by the example of
Leadership can come from the top,
as in
He draws on the experience of his
own family in coming to terms with
He illustrates that forgiveness is not just an individual act but a life’s journey and that the challenge before every person, whatever their race or religion, is to stop pointing the finger of blame and to start with themselves.
Treating affair couples: An integrative approach
Donald Baucom,
Ph.D.
This workshop presented an integrative approach to treating affair couples. It was designed for couples therapists skilled in fundamental techniques of couple therapy, but who wish conceptual and specific clinical skills in working with this difficult population. The treatment integrates cognitive-behavioral with insight-oriented or developmental techniques within an ecosystemic perspective.
The workshop began with an overview of the affair literature and presented a theoretical rationale for viewing recovery from affairs from a trauma perspective. Specific domains and clinical assessment techniques were described for tailoring this intervention to affair couples. Three stages of intervention were also described:
Stage I: Containing the initial impact. Interventions comprising this stage include (a) re-establishing individual and relational equilibrium by promoting self-care and establishing behavioral routines; and (b) limiting further trauma by minimizing destructive exchanges between partners.
Stage II: Examining the context. Interventions in this stage emphasize re-establishing predictability and security by collaboratively deriving a comprehensive formulation that articulates proximal and distal factors both within and outside the relationship contributing to vulnerability to, participation in, and maintenance of the affair.
Stage III: Interventions in this stage help couples to reach an informed decision about how to move forward – either separately or by continuing the relationship – and to identify additional steps for securing individual relational well-being.
The purpose of forgiveness in sex offender treatment
Colleen Schlenke,
LMSW
One of the many challenges in working with sex offenders is being able to distinguish the individual from the monstrosity of the crime he committed. When an individual is deemed “sex offender,” he will resist the integration of this label into his identity. In attempt to treat this individual, the therapist must guide the offender toward a process of gaining a healthy sense of self through taking responsibility for his actions and actively holding himself accountable to others.
In order for the sex offender to move forward in his treatment, he must accept the wrongness of his offending and seek motivation to eliminate this harmful behavior. Forgiveness, as the absolution of a wrong, can allow one to shed the responsibility of changing the behavior that caused the wrong. It is imperative that the sex offender use self-forgiveness as an impetus for change, rather than for the absolution of his wrong action.
Forgiveness often allows the weight of one’s guilt for a wrong action to dissipate. The violating nature of sexual crimes does not permit the offender to seek forgiveness from his victim. The offender, therefore, is given only a choice to forgive himself.
The guilt that the sex offender feels, before he forgives, is uncomfortable but also useful. Ridding oneself of this guilt can be a primary motivator for change. If self-forgiveness is reached, the offender is less likely to seek change and this may increase his chances of re-offending.
The concept of forgiveness, as it relates to the treatment of sex offenders, takes on a new meaning. Forgiveness becomes a goal that should be constantly sought, but never achieved. If a sex offender truly wants to change his harmful behavior, he will seek forgiveness through accountability and responsibility to self and others not by absolving his guilt.
A woman’s space
Claudia Crenshaw
From a radical feminist perspective, women are perpetually injured in a society dominated by those who have power and control. This domination is a direct antecedent to women’s exhaustive duty to serve. Women present in psychotherapy were angry, exhausted, depressed, and unforgiving. How does a radical feminist perspective help women make visible this institutionalized domination and free women to forgive and empower them to love freely in their communities, families, and work? I address these issues with women as a woman, mother, nurse, and psychotherapist paradoxically privileged by my position of education and prestige provided by dominant culture. Specific psychotherapy issues and strategies will be discussed in a manner to maintain confidentiality of the women’s lives I have entered in my helping role.
Change and redemption through forgiveness,
reconciliation, atonement and mercy
Mary Ciafalo,
M.A.
This paper attempts to help bridge the gap between types of change processes that are used in psychotherapeutic understanding, and those that occur in spiritual teaching. I look at change as what is desired by a person seeking help, and redemption as the successful outcome of that change--redemption meaning to free from what distresses or harms, to extricate from an undesirable state, to change for the better. The proposal in this paper is that any method that helps one disconnect from the instinctive feeling to hurt back (vengeance) in response to being hurt, should be used by anyone who is helping people change. The tools examined for that redemption are: forgiveness, reconciliation, atonement and mercy. Examples of each of these change processes are given. Newspaper articles and other story sources are used to illustrate each method. The intent of this paper is to help healers of the psyche consider using, teaching, and supporting these four spiritual methods in their work with those who seek their help.
The role of corporate forgiveness in the reconciliation
process
Victoria Murray, B.A.
It is becoming increasing clear that ethnic, racial and religious violence are, and will be, significant dilemmas for us to face far into the twenty first century. We have recently been privy to the negative effects of revenge politics and the deteriorating social stability occurring in regions around the world where violence has become a mainstay. Moreover, globalization and political transitions have disrupted a number of fragile interethnic relations, awakening old conflicts and stirring new tensions. In such a climate, forgiveness and reconciliation become necessary tools for social and global stability. The increasing number of conflicts around the world suggests a great need for understanding how forgiveness fosters reconciliation and facilitates the peacemaking process. The field of psychology has been less visible, but it would be prudent to broaden our current models and make them more relevant to the domains of international relations, intergroup conflicts, and conflict resolution.
In psychology, the literature on forgiveness has increased dramatically in the last decade and the empirical investigations have offered beneficial results (Al-Mabuk, Enright, & Cardis, 1995, Freedman & Enright, 1996, Hebl & Enright, 1993, McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997, McCullough & Worthington, 1995). However, less attention has been given to corporate, or intergroup models of forgiveness, or the psychological aspects of national reconciliation. Moreover, the complexities of group membership and cultural identity, as well as the impact of situational and historic factors, have been addressed in the forgiveness literature only in a cursory fashion.
Consequently, little is known of the role of forgiveness in the resolution of intergroup and ethno-political conflicts. Therefore, a deeper investigation would serve our understanding of those psychological conditions that would promote forgiveness in real world settings, where ethnicity and group identification are more salient features. Given the great need for ethnic, racial and religious reconciliation around the world, this presentation will explore more communal models of forgiveness, drawing primarily from the forgiveness literature, group psychology and Christian theology.
Christian/Spiritual approaches to promoting
forgiveness for counseling clients
John Oldham, LCSW
Helping people forgive, works with counselors using Christian approaches to promote forgiveness by: First, knowing the definitions of forgiveness from a Christian/Spiritual perspective. Second, comprehending and implementing practice strategies to nurture forgiveness from a Christian viewpoint, and third, recognizing the faster and longer-lasting progress for client accepting forgiveness through Christian/spiritual approaches.
A genuine restoration: Avoiding the pitfalls of
superficial apologies and forgiveness
Kenneth Ellis, Ph.D.
Forgiveness in current literature has been reduced to a construct that is nothing more than choosing unilaterally to no longer be vengeful toward a person who has hurt you. This paper will address bilateral aspects of forgiveness and will address six areas of denial that hinder genuine reconciliation.
Teaching angry clients how to forgive: Two session
group format programs
Kenneth Hart, Ph.D., Associate Professor,
Department of Psychology
A randomized clinical trial will
be described that pitted a group counseling version of the Enright
forgiveness program against a new ‘Spiritual Forgiveness and Repentance’
(SPIRIT-FR) program, a 12-Step facilitation that engages clients in forgiveness
and repentance-related aspects of the first nine ‘steps’ of the spiritual
growth program developed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Eighty-four angry but
sober AA members were randomly assigned to one of two manual-driven treatment
programs, and approximately 30 completed each condition. Eight “front-line”
addictions counselor lead a total of 10 psychoeducational
group workshops over a five-month period (4 per condition). Process analyses
revealed the average client received a high dose of treatment. Furthermore,
treatments were implemented as planned and were different from each other. Dispositional
and situational measures of forgiveness and repentance together with measures
of spirituality were administered at baseline, immediately following treatment
and at 5-month follow up. Analyses involving group comparisons of amount of
change from baseline to follow up showed both treatments had desirable
therapeutic effects on situational forgiveness and generalized readiness to
repent, and that clients in the SPIRIT-FR treatment program benefited slightly
more in terms of being able to forgive their worst offender. New grudges were
monitored during the course of treatment, and both programs produced a
reduction in the rate with which they were grudges acquired. Both treatment
programs were associated with significant and sometimes sustained improvements
on measures tapping closeness to God, positive spiritual coping and the
occurrence of a life-changing spiritual experience. These data suggest it is
possible to develop therapist treatment manuals that specify uniquely different
standardized forgiveness interventions, and that proper delivery of both of
these treatment programs can improve levels of emotional, spiritual and social
wellbeing in clinically distressed samples of physically abstinent alcoholics
who are attempting to attain greater levels of ‘serenity.’