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Working to Forgive


Take Steps to Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is not a quick fix." cautions Robert D. Enright, PhD. He has also written that "Forgiveness is a matter of a willed change of heart, the successful result of an active endeavor..."

Forgiveness is hard work. If you have decided to make the choice to forgive, here are some guidelines that have proven useful.

"Guideposts for Forgiving"
Robert D. Enright, PhD in his book Forgiveness is a Choice describes a systematic way to work toward forgiveness. The following material is adapted from Dr. Enright's work. As you consider each step, you are working toward forgiving.

Phase 1 - Uncovering Your Anger
  • Have you faced your anger?
  • Are you afraid to expose your shame or guilt?
  • Has your anger affected your health?
  • Are you obsessed with the injury or the offender?
  • Do you compare your situation with that of the offender?
  • Has the injury changed your life or your worldview?


    • Phase 2 - Deciding to Forgive
  • Decide that what you have been doing has not worked.
  • Be willing to begin the forgiveness process.
  • Decide to forgive.


    • Phase 3 - Working on Forgiveness
  • Work toward understanding.
  • Work toward compassion.
  • Acknowledge your pain and let it be.
  • Do an act of kindness toward the offender, or to honor your decision.


    • Phase 4 - Discovering Release from Emotional Prison
  • Discover the meaning of suffering.
  • Discover your own need for forgiveness.
  • Discover that you are not alone.
  • Discover the purpose of your life.
  • Discover the freedom of forgiveness.
    		•  A Campaign for Forgiveness Research funded 46 innovative research projects on the effects of forgiveness. Now you can read about their discoveries.



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